CKNW Editorial
for June 22, 1999

You have to feel sorry for poor old Conrad Black and his chatelaine, the would be Lady Barbara. He apparently won’t get his peerage after all. And no one can deny that Mr Black has paid his dues by giving millions to the British Tory Party and he certainly has sufficient arrogance to be a British peer.

Actually I’m in favour of the peerage and far from condemning peers in Canada, I think they should be encouraged. There is no reason now to think they are not legal – the 1919 parliamentary resolution is not law, merely an expression of parliamentary opinion 80 years ago, which parliamentary opinion then probably was held at the level of public esteem as it is today.

And there are some anomolies you know – there is nothing to stop a Canadian inheriting a title. So if you can get one by accident of birth, why shouldn’t you be able to get one by everybody pretending you did something to earn it?

It’s not as if we don’t have an honours system – it’s called the Order of Canada which is divided into two main groups … those nice sort of homey people occasionally appointed to give the entire undemocratic affair a sort of democratic look and those who have gained prominence and fame always making sure that the level of their dissent, if dissenters they be, stays within the proper bounds. It helps to be a bilingual hockey player or an ex prime minister but mostly it’s a matter of being palsy with the Companions of the Order who get to select the new kids. The Companions are not known for liking those who have disobeyed the establishment no matter how great their service – Mel Smith comes to mind. And we have the Order of British Columbia which is also only awarded to those the establishment approves of – I tried to get Mel Smith one but found that it would have been easier for me to have had him declared Pope.

So let’s get with it and establish an aristocracy where the establishment can present each other with more than just a little pin for the lapel but a real title. For there’s more to it than just rewarding friends – you can get rid of enemies too.

For example, if a nice barony had been available Brian Mulroney could have used that to get rid of Ed Broadbent instead of giving him a lifetime sinecure at public expense … Baron Broadbent has a nice ring … then Mulroney could be made Lord Mulroney of Blarney. How about Baron Barrett of Bluster to give to our former premier – it would save on paying for investigations into things we already know the answers to.

If we come to our senses and restore some decent sort of aristocracy the appointment should be made by the Prime Minister who should be very careful to ensure that all notions of democracy are cast aside. The rules that apply to Orders-in-Canada should apply … more French Canadians than numbers warrant, more Central Canadians than numbers warrant, and no honours to anyone who has ever challenged the establishment, such as being against Meech Lake or the Charlottetown Accord.

No I’m with Conrad Black on this one. Contempt for the peasantry is a condition of aristocracy and Lord Black shows that in his national paper which is so dominated by Central Canadian writers and is absent any regular B.C. contributors. I’m surprised that this editorial hasn’t already been written by one of his oh-so-independent editors at one of his oh-so-independent newspapers.

Yes, when you come to think of it, if we’re going to operate under a feudal system in this country we might just as well have a proper one with all the titles and stuff.