CKNW Editorial
for September 9, 1999

So, what a surprise! It’s another Liberal flack to get the $100,000 per year, plus expenses, all tax free sinecure of Governor-General. Not only is Adrian Clarkson Liberal down to her pink underdrawers she even spouts the party line in accepting as the “first woman not from one of the two founding nations.” You can bet that from this CBC groupie that was no slip of the tongue.

What a glorious opportunity Jean Chretien had to cover a number of bases long waiting to be covered. He could have appointed, for the first time, a British Columbian who is also handicapped and, most of all, loved by all as a courageous man who has done more for Canada than we can ever acknowledge. Just how the hell Rick Hanson could lose out to a Central Canadian Establishment star,  from two perspectives – the CBC and her Liberal connections – is quite beyond me. But, come to think of it, why would Chretien do anything to please the unwashed out here – the Liberal Party hasn’t given a damn about BC for decades.

This brings into focus the whole notion of a governor-general. At one time they were usually chinless aristocrats from Blighty no one knew quite what to do with. Then we had a distinguished author, John Buchan, who went under the alias Lord Tweedsmuir, followed by a chinless aristocrat, the Earl of Athlone, followed by a war hero, Viscount Alexander. This system was working well – not only did we have the colonial trappings we had a real live member of the British Upper Classes to guide us. Just listening to those taffee noses with their plummy accents talk without moving their lips was an inspiration to us all. Then, just as the system was working so well, the Liberals then changed the rules and established the present process by appointing a rich member of the establishment, a Liberal of course, in Vincent Massey. Since then the line of political hacks is almost unbroken, the obvious exception being George Vanier. Since the job does nothing useful why bother?

I suppose the answer to that is that there are ceremonial roles a government must play and we should have someone for that. Moreover, there may again come a time – the last time was 73 years ago – that we have to have a Head of State to make constitutional decisions. Very well, I propose this as the way to keep politics out of it. Let the Queen nominate three utterly useless nobles – they could be from the ordinary nobility but more desirable would be candidates from amongst the minor Royals (if there are any not in trouble for snorting cocaine). We could then let the Companions of the Order of Canada, who think themselves the equivalent of nobility anyway, and who are most skilled indeed at recommending political hacks to the Governor-general, make the selection. And let’s make it for life so we can really get to love the silly old fart who gets it.

There is, of course, another alternative. We could actually – this may shock more sensitive ears out there – we could actually elect the Governor-General. Admittedly this democracy bit is not in accordance with our usual practice but why not give it a try?

Now there is a real problem with electing people – they may take their victory to be a mandate to actually do something. And candidates may make promises such as nicer rose beds at Government House or a change in manufacture of the vice-regal limousine. There could be no end to this sort of thing.

But in reality, it just might work. It has, for example, in Ireland where the incumbent, the second female in a row, actually comes from Northern Ireland and is very popular. Her predecessor, Mary Robinson – a Catholic married to a Protestant - did a magnificent job in spite of her lack of powers and lack of mandate to do anything.

But this would never do, would it. If we let the people decide, how could Liberal Prime Ministers pay off debts or get inconvenient colleagues out of the way – after all the Prime Minister is fortunate if he has a half a dozen Senate seats to hand out during his term and besides, though they don’t do much, Senators are expected to do something.

I suppose it’s a bit of a paradox – nobody cares much about the Governor-General but on the other hand, why can’t one of our kids get it sometimes?

Not to worry, I suppose. Just good old Canadian tradition at work. Sift amongst the political ashes and find a Liberal whose appointment will thrill the chattering classes and make the eastern establishment feel warm all over.

And Adrian Clarkson does fit that bill admirably.