Vancouver Courier
for September 13, 1998

Indulge me, Mr Editor, I know I do a political column but this special pleading is born of special times - there ain't no political news!!

The Legislature's closed and while that place doesn't actually ever do anything, at least it sometimes makes good copy. The premier's laying low wondering what the hell to do after relying on polls telling him that his Nisga'a deal was a no brainer only to find that it's the worst miscalculation of his career. The Liberals are busy fighting libel suits and Bill Vander Zalm, always good for a column or two any time of the year, hasn't even created a sound bit lately much less a column. And surely we've heard and watched quite enough wall to wall coverage of the Swissair crash. Bill Clinton's open zipper policy has gone flaccid, so to speak and Jean Chretien is still playing golf. What's a guy to do?

It's a stretch, I admit, but what about Mark McGwire, Maris' record, steroids and Ben Johnson? Surely that's better than one more time around the PNE issue or what's to become of transit? Let's give it a try.

The "All Things Bright and Beautiful" crowd, no doubt wishing to push l'affaire Lewinsky off the agenda, has swung behind Mark McGwire as he muscles his way past Roger Maris' home run record of 61. And they're doing quite a job of it, pushing the issue of McGwire's use of steroids out of the limelight altogether. I've actually watched a couple of Cards games recently and nary a whisper about this forbidden fruit which, in Ken Griffey's words, "has his forearms looking like my thighs". We know everything else about McGwire's personal life, what a great dad, his ex-wife's his pal and all that. And we certainly know all about Roger Maris. But steroids? Not a whisper.

You'll remember that the late Baseball Commissioner Ford Frick insisted that Roger Maris's record have an asterisk after it because he had played 162 games while the Babe had only played 154. I thought Frick had a point. I would have an asterisk after Joe DiMaggio's 56 game hitting streak saying * J. DiMaggio didn't bat against Satchel Paige because in those days baseball didn't let black people play. And one after the continuing consecutive games record of Cal Ripken Jr saying *unlike Lou Gehrig who played first base C. Ripken mostly played shortstop where guys get hurt.

But let's turn to steroids because it's here that I feebly draw politics - international politics - into the discussion.

Steroids unnaturally build muscles. Unnaturally in the sense that the athlete doesn't get bigger, stronger and faster because he trains better but because he ingests artificial muscles under supervision of an expert. He becomes sort of the bionic man of the nineties.

Way back, the International Olympic Committee banned steroids and the memorable casualty was Ben Johnson who, at the Seoul Olympics of 1988 went all the way from Canadian hero of all time, Order of Canada at the ready, to a dumb black from Jamaica who had disgraced his adopted country.

Do you remember how we all let to our feet when the time of his 100 meters dash went on the screen? And how the announcers screamed? The replays, far into the night. And how far he fell and how fast when he was disqualified? And the opprobrium poured upon him by jocks, politicians, callers to talk shows and the folks in the pub.

I defended Johnson saying that whenever you take a young athlete and tell him he'll make a bit of money if he runs fast, but untold millions if he runs a bare fraction of a fraction of a second faster, you are inviting him to do just what lawyers, businessmen often and politicians always do - look for an edge. That didn't make it right - but it eliminated the privilege to criticize of most of his critics. The IOC were hypocrital fat cats on big expenses expecting the Olympics could be professional without becoming like most other professional sports.

But baseball's different. So are football and hockey. And so may be basketball - and can cricket be far behind? Next it'll be lawn bowls. And well you might ask, so what? They're just jocks - well maybe not the lawn bowlers - and in the great scheme of things it's not important.

Tell that to Ben Johnson who wasn't a sports story but the front page and lead story for doing just what continuing hero Mark McGwire is doing - getting an edge.

I'm afraid I'm an * man. All baseball records before blacks played should have an * saying BB. All post 1967 hockey records ought to be asterisked, *ATD for "after talent dilution."

And after all sports records, let's mark *AS for "After Steroids".

And though he'll never get his record back, let's should reinstate Ben Johnson to hero status - at least as high as that we grant Mark McGwire.