Vancouver Courier
for October 25, 1998

Nisga’a as "one issue" for Glen Clark

So you're not a big fan of the NDP and Glen Clark - what's your worst nightmare?

Glen Clark may run an election on a single issue and get away with it. Get away with two phony budgets, an economy in tatters and an industrial policy dictated by the trade union movement. That would really do it, wouldn't it?

I'd take an extra little pill tonight because he might just do it, financed with your money.

But surely you ask, with all the confidence of a pimply faced teenager on his first date, this can't possibly happen. This government has been terrible! The only thing we must do is wait and Clark & CO will be gone.

Well, one issue elections happen.

Sometimes they're manufactured, sometimes they just plain happen. But happen they do.

But what issue? Surely Glen Clark doesn't have one. The economy is a mess and his best answer is that it's someone else's fault, never a very good answer for either politicians or ship captains when bad things happen on your watch. Not only are British Columbians fleeing but new money, looking at the options in Washington, Oregon and Alberta are not even having a peek at B.C. Even on Nisga'a the people aren't with him.

Even the hard-core left are cross. They see unemployment, real income down, union jobs disappearing and a socialist government which actually tells them that there's no money to properly maintain present social services let alone launch new ones.

So what's an emperor who has no clothes to do when exposed to all in such circumstances?

Most emperors would say "to hell with it" and retire to let someone clean up the mess. But that's not Glen Clark's nature. He's having the time of his life. His political world is in tatters, his party is looking at a meltdown and morale is lower than a snake's belly. Perfect. For Glen Clark it doesn't get any better than this. He knows what to do if only because his hero is W.A.C. Bennett.

Here's what our emperor tells his troops.

"Who else but me? I took you from Death Valley to the sunlit uplands in May 1996, did I not? And won with a party riddled with scandals, one of which I was deeply involved in personally. Here's what we do."

"We use the oldest trick in the book - we bribe the buggers with their own money. Works like a damn - learned that from W.A.C. I also learned from him if you can do this spending "off budget" people will buy it. Crown agencies and corporations, that's the way to do it - just keep on building things that people can see - especially when they're driving."

"Now the media boo birds will complain that the debt's going up. Tell 'em the same old shit from last time - this is 'good debt' so don't worry."

"Then we look for our issue and why not Nisga'a? Everyone forgets I didn't give a damn about this issue until July and had in fact given many signals that we were going to ease off on this one. And no one seemed to notice that I didn't know a damn thing about the deal until the signing celebration."

"But look at what the issue is. Think of it in terms of mathematics. When we get down to it, we have 25% of the vote no matter what we do. Included in that 25% will be lots who disagree with our stance on Nisga'a but will vote for us anyway. Then there's the natural split in the Liberal party that nit-wit Campbell hands us on a silver platter. I can tell you folks, the NDP learned nearly 40 years ago that you can't afford splinter groups within your part of the spectrum, especially if your name happens to be Liberal."

"But here's the ace in the hole. Probably 60% of the public don't support us on Nisga'a but looked at another way, 40% do. And all we need is 40% of the vote to win it all. Now the numbers don't translate perfectly but you get the picture - we take our traditional support, toss in those who hate our guts but wouldn't vote Liberal under any circumstances and add to people who will support us just because of our stance on Nisga'a."

"Now, you who all owe your jobs to me, here's the ultimate strategy. This is a communications world in which we live. We can never, as a party afford slick advertising but we do control the purse strings of government. We mount a slick, $10 million advertising program extolling the virtues of Nisga'a, which is to say the policies of this government, and make the taxpayer pay. Then pass the Nisga'a deal in the legislature, hope a few Liberals break ranks, call an election and it's May 1996 all over again."

Sweet dreams to all who think knocking off Clark and Co will be a no brainer.