Vancouver Province
for April 9, 1999

So, the National Windbag, aka Don Cherry, is on the NHL payroll with a contract to save the Canadian teams from the oblivion at the hands of Revenue Canada. Well, Don old boy, I will resist up to the point of being clapped in irons before I’ll pay a nickel to save these wastrels from paying full taxes.

There’s something about hockey Don Cherry hasn’t evidently noticed. The kids aren’t learning the game on the frozen ponds of Floral, Saskatchewan any more – they play in cozy arenas now and have their every move watched from the Atom League on by the big business of Hockey.

There are no great Canadian rivalries for the Stanley Cup left. The greatest, Montreal v Toronto (invariably won by Montreal to my considerable satisfaction) is, by reason of the way the NHL has divided itself, impossible. Besides, with 27 teams it is almost mathematically impossible for one much less two Canadian teams to be in the final. The only rivalry left in Canada is that between long suffering Canucks supporters and their myopic management which has driven them in five years from the Stanley Cup final to oblivion.

This isn’t the great Canadian game any more and never can hope to be. Since 1967 the owners have played a sort of chain letter game where they bring in new teams on the promise that they’ll get their money back when the next new suckers pop into the net so to speak. After watering the game down they were hit by a triple whammy - first the Supreme Court of Canada told them that they were common thieves who had stolen players pension funds; then a guy name Bob Goodenow came along and made well off players into multi millionaires; finally the whole sordid mess which is the NHL was exposed by the denouement of Alan Eagleson who betrayed both the players and owners.

Just who are these noble citizens we’re supposed to help so they might continue to provide us with our great Canadian institution?

Take the players. Most of the stars playing in Canada keep a residence in the United States, are paid in the United States with $US and pay their taxes to Uncle Sam. Indeed we’re reliably informed that coaches and even general managers play the same game. Those who would seek relief from Revenue Canada aren’t even on a nodding acquaintance with them.

Now look at the owners – they’re the ones who succumbed to these multi million dollar players and got into the devastating free agency bidding which has been the bane of most professional sports. And here’s the product these beggars these beggars at the taxpayers’ door present to the hockey fan. If the average Dad and Mom want to take their two kids to a Canucks game and select middle priced seats it will cost them $244 just to get in the door whereupon they will pay a minimum of $50 each time they’re hit for a hot dog and coke for the kids and a beer for the folks. With parking and sitters the average Vancouver family will pay at least $400 a game. This game isn’t for the folks Don Cherry pretends to speak for - it’s for the wealthy, usually large corporations, who can afford season’s tickets for the use of clients or for the better off who forsake two weeks in Hawaii for hockey.

Canadian hockey, as we knew it, is dead and has been for some time. No matter what we do, all but Toronto, Montreal and perhaps Vancouver are goners. The National Hockey League could, if it wanted to, equalize gate and TV revenue and keep their Canadian member teams alive but they’ve no wish to. Cherry wants the taxpayer to do what the League itself should do and I say to hell with him. Tax benefits for the NHL are tax benefits taken from the needy.

And forget that gup about how valuable the franchise is to the City in spin-off benefits. That old chestnut was laid to rest eons ago. Money spent on booze, food, souvenirs, taxis etc is disposable income, which will simply be spent elsewhere if the team expires.

There’s but one truth in all this - there’s a host of things in this country, which need attending to with scarce tax dollars, but the Vancouver Canucks aren’t one of them. Nor, even, are Cherry’s beloved Toronto Maple Leafs.