The Written Word
for September 24, 2000

There is no fool like an old fool. Especially an old fool who doesn’t think he can really be fooled. Well I was .. and to my considerable embarrassment.

I received an email in the middle of July that amused me. It amused me because I had long thought that you could find authority for damned near anything in the Bible of you looked hard enough. And here a listener had provided proof. She sent me a letter she had (or so I thought) written to Dr Laura who, as fans (of which I’m not one) will know is dead against homosexuality. This letter went on about selling daughters into slavery, killing those who don’t honour the Sabbath and all sorts of neat things like that. I was hard up for an article for the Province that week so thought I’d plagiarize a bit … but first I must and did get in touch with the plagiarizee. She gleefully gave me permission and then went to the trouble to correct some of the references. I didn’t copy her letter but certainly anyone wanting to charge me with wrongful plagiary would have no trouble concluding that the letter was my listener’s, not mine.

Now, if I’d had the sense to credit the source, there would have been no problem. But I didn’t. Dumb move. But I did check out her Biblical references and found some inaccuracies which I corrected – then, through a typo made one myself. This was not a happy scene that was unfolding.

The Province printed my article and within days my editor wanted to talk to me about my column. It had come to her attention that it might not be original.

I ‘fessed up, of course, but defended myself on the basis that I had permission of the author of the letter and that she had even helped me with the references.

Well, it turned out that almost everyone in Christendom, and a good many beyond, had seen this letter which evidently was emailed to most of the western world. I don’t know this but I suspect that the lady from whom I stole the ideas wasn’t the author.

I did what all natural cowards did … I played for time. No I couldn’t possibly meet with the editor before she went on vacation and, bad luck though it was, when she came back I was on vacation. When the lunch happened the combination of time and a good-hearted editor who has no doubt seen worse, I was forgiven with a slight rap on the knuckles … and I didn’t even have to buy.

But it was a great lesson. Just when you think you’re pretty smart the gods conspire to prove that no, when all’s said and done, you’re very smart after all.