The Written Word
for September 27, 2000

We have now completed our move from North Vancouver and 4000 plus square feet to Lions Bay and 1470 square feet. And I’ll tell you that despite the optic hypnotism you bring to the exercise it doesn’t work.

For openers, Clancy no longer has his own swimming pool and he’s not amused. Now he has to scramble down a river bank – and at 77 that ain’t easy – just to get his belly half covered. And he misses Misty, Boomer, Bear, Ed and all his old pals.

But it’s the stuff that’s a problem. By sale and by gift I got rid of 2/3 of my books. I had 38 shelves built in the new place with a capacity of 15-30 books each, depending on the size of the books and I’m out of room from the start. My fly-tying stuff is somewhere. Just where somewhere is I can’t tell you. I know that when I packed it everything made sense but I can’t remember my common sense reasoning of that moment.

The furniture is another story. Never mind what the tape measure tells you it just won’t fit – unless you buy pogo sticks and leap over tables on the way to a sofa. And that’s hard on the less agile amongst us. The principal beneficiaries of a move like this are your kids. It’s not as if we weren’t warned or that we didn’t think about this problem. It’s just that you love your stuff so much that you go into denial about its size.

The outside expenses are unbelievable. Both Wendy and I need Computer stations so we went to the usual places to look. After sitting in several new units and purring at how we could spread ourselves and our work out we realized that we didn’t have space for one of these units much less two. This forced us to a place that constructed vertical stations and I must admit that, though they were expensive as hell, they are wonderful. Doors open then fade into the desk … everything - computer, printer and monitor are at your fingertips - and it makes a very good desk too. But expensive as hell. Or did I mention that already.

Then there is the matter of clothes closets. And here’s where the Salvation Army has a field day for there is no alternative but to simply give a lot of clothes away. It’s not just that there isn’t enough closet space … there’s no place to put closets.

There are, I must tell you however, advantages. Plenty of them. There’s the view, for one thing. People pay thousands to fly away to see views not as good as we have from our porch, about to become a solarium. It’s the right size for three people (Clancy is definitely a people) and it doesn’t send you to the brink of bankruptcy each month at bill paying time. Moreover, it’s a super community with a store, a café and a resident artist.

And it’s paid for.

And it’s the best thing we’ve ever done – so say the majority, Clancy dissenting.