The Written Word
for August 8, 2001

Do you ever get concerned about the absolutely unimportant? I do. And the other day one of these utterly useless thoughts got into my mind and I couldn’t shake it.

How come we so often see words like "bathos" written and never hear it spoken? "hegemony" is another such word. So is "didactic". And how come "flammable" and "inflammable" mean the same thing?

This took me further down this silly path.

Why do many intelligent people confuse flaunt and flout? And how come otherwise articulate people say michievious when there is no second "i"? It’s as bad, nay worse than "irregardless".

Some names are interesting too. why was Lech Walesa called Walensa? Or Berkley, Barkley. And why, come to think of it, the e before the y? Or how about Fanshaw for Featheringstonehaugh? And Chumley for Cholmondely? And why is the abbreviation for Shropshire, Salop?

And speaking of names, why do those company voice mails always insist on your spelling out the name of the object of your call? If the name is Bob or Jane: or Smith or Brown fair enough. But what if its Catriona – not Katrina or Catrina but Catriona? Or what if the last name is Polish, full of Ks and Ws and no vowels? Or MacRea of which there must be a dozen variations?

And the concept of transitive verbs and use of prepositions is now so abused that it’s common to hear even the most learned – including my priest – say "to you and I" and other such abominations. I think that despite the fact that this will disturb my Mom’s spirit I have become accustomed to "it’s me" instead of "it’s I". Indeed the title of a wonderful grammar book – "Woe is I" has brought me kicking and screaming to this exception to the rule but such phrases as "the victims are her and me" should call for a good mouth-washing with soap.

I have always wondered why countries make up their own name for other places? We call Deutshcland, Nederland and Italia, Germany, Holland and Italy. Why? Why not give them the name they give themselves. Why Angleterre for England and Londres for London? And here’s a curiosity – why Iraq? (No I don’t mean it that way) Why not Irak? Although I would agree that Q is a useless letter anyway, and that following it with a u is part of the language whose origins baffle me it does seem to me that if we insist on calling that poor benighted country anything it should surely be Iraque.

Why is Canada still red on the map when it hasn’t been a British possession for a century and a half. And why is our flag a red Maple leaf when most of the country doesn’t have such a plant? Quite apart from the sexist "in all our sons command" what about the "native land" bit when so many of our citizens were born elsewhere and in some circles "native" means aboriginal?

I’ve often been told that my mind is a storehouse of utterly useless information which is why, I suppose, I have such utterly useless thoughts.